


Why do you judge me so?

by dttwins



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Bilbo doesn't belong, M/M, Nosy Neighbors, Sad Bilbo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-14
Updated: 2014-01-14
Packaged: 2018-01-08 16:54:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1135133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dttwins/pseuds/dttwins
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bilbo doesn't belong in the Shire, so he goes on adventure, hoping to find a place for himself, only it doesn't end well.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Why do you judge me so?

Bilbo was tired. He was tired of the Shire, of nosy neighbors, of Lobelia. Prim and proper. Most of all he was tired of being a real hobbit, a normal one, no adventures, no strange behavior, always polite, always on time, tea at exactly four o’clock. Oh Yavanna, most days he wanted to run to the forest and scream bloody murder. And all these whispers that they thought he couldn't hear, fifty years old and still not married. Such a big house and a well to do hobbit and still no wife, something must be wrong with him.  
And every day it made Bilbo believe that there was something wrong, that looking at lads was bad, that he should want a wife, even if looking at lasses did nothing to him. And when Gandalf came, oh how his soul asked to be brave, how he wanted to go on adventure, but the judging, the stares every day, surrounded, suffocated, blinded, leaving him almost completely broken.  
It took so much just to step out of Bag End, but then he was running and he was free. And finally happy. Finally hoping that he would find a place, that he will be accepted, the way he is, Mad Mr. Baggins.  
Only the dwarves were suspicious and secretive and didn't trust him and he felt just like in the Shire, useless and abnormal and a failure. And every word from Thorin was like a knife.  
When the stones giants battled and Bilbo almost died, again, when all he got was scorn, and he was so terribly tired, he lost hope there, in the cave, he gave up.  
Later on, Golum and orcs and fighting Azog, Bilbo has done it all out of desperation, if he was so despicable and had no place to fit in, then why not risk his life, it was worthless anyway and nobody would miss him in the Shire except for wee hobbits to whom he told his fairy-tales.  
It was then that Thorin hugged him on the Carrock, and the hope was almost as painful as losing it completely, he promised himself to not open up like that, but again, his stupid heart betrayed him. And then after Smaug, after Thorin choosing stupid rock over him, after being almost killed by the person who he started to love...What a joke! Another heartbreak, another disappointment. When all was said and done and he came back to the Shire even more empty that he left...well, Gandalf was wrong, wasn't he? It didn't do him good, that adventure. His friends forgot about him, too busy rebuilding Erebor and Bilbo... Bilbo just stopped caring. He was the way he was and if nobody wanted to see the real him, it was their problem. He guessed he matured and grew up a bit, others opinion didn't mater much anymore. And then after couple of years Frodo came into his life, and dare he say it...he became almost happy...


End file.
